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106 - My best friend

Before I start,
What I've been doing with my life: I've asked my brother to change my windows user password so I won't be able to play the computer for awhile. I need to get my mind straight and studying is what I should do now.


Interesting topic 01
I don't have a best friend. Or more likely, I've developed a phobia of calling someone my best friend. My first best friend was Vivian War. And I could still remember the days when I was 7 years old. The days we used to play together and of course, I was very gullible. That was when she would trick me into trouble like eating chewing gum in class. But life brings events a.k.a ups and downs. We were seven, unconscious of the world, undeveloped mentally and physically. Basically, we were innocent children and I can't remember if she was naughty but I remember being one hell of a naughty kid. I guess I just have a quiet rebellious nature in me unknown to all mankind. :P

But yeah, it was my first year in primary school and I remember three of us being really close friends. Low Ee Ling , Vivian and me. Second year of primary, she moved schools. And after that, I didn't know how to call someone my best friend anymore because I was scared of losing people. Even now, I'm scared of being too close to someone because if they go away somewhere, sometime it would just hurt that's why I keep my boundaries fairly..guarded. I have people I want to call my best friend but there are times when I think I'm not good enough to be someone's best friend. Despite this phobia, I still am myself and always will be. If someone enjoys being with me then I'm happy to be their friend or even thrilled to be their best friend.

But I never regretted her leaving...I got in contact with her 6 years after not seeing each other(and we still haven't met in person) BUT JEEEEZ. When I read her blog, she looks as though she is and awesome person. One of a kind, just the way God made everybody uniquely. She's doesn't seem driven by the opinions of society and one thing I know is that she loves singing? (I hope I'm not wrong) X) I'd say, she has grown up into someone I'd love to meet once again.

So there's my point. I don't have a best friend. Maybe in my heart I have desires of calling someone my best friend but I just can't do it. But if someone I know(and is close to) asks me or maybe just called me theirs I would be overjoyed and even more than happy to call them mine because then, I would have an extra person to love. : )

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