Being young allows you to do that... To do what? To find love, I guess. Part of me being young was having a constant reminder that I want to feel important. But the thing is, I've grown out of that thought of importance because I know that I can never be important forever. Well, not unless I'm a famous celebrity or prime minister of America or something. Even if you are famous, you can't be loved forever. Eventually, someone would just step in and be the "more-awesomer-than-you" person. And sometimes, you wouldn't even be in the chain of awesomeness. Sometimes, you would only be that person who sits by the side. You would only be someone that is in the background of someone else's life. You, would only be a background prop of the movie of life. But being that background prop would sometimes be the best role because without it, life can seem quite unreal. Without people lighting up the world and without tiny specks of details of your existence, then life wouldn't be alive.
Being the background prop isn't nice as a full-time job. I understand that feeling. Eventually you get tired of being the "spare tire" or the vague blobs of paint in the background. No matter what your mind encourages you to think, deep inside you know that you need to feel that importance at least for a little while. (Even if it would mean getting a stalker who follows you all around.lol) And sometimes the mind and heart would create lies of what is called "denial" to push away the feeling of being unimportant. Would this be part of life?
Or sometimes, you've been chosen as the main actress or actor of the movie and someone seems to be better than you and the manager has given that role to the other person. Or, you could have developed a decease and got kicked out from the movie cast. No matter what the situation is,a person still wants to feel important.
I don't have a main argument here, just what I call opinions of the issue and what I feel.. I'm not old because people say I'm young. 16 years of living isn't a long time, not even 2 decades. But one thing I've known while living for sixteen years despite my lack in wisdom is that I don't need a human being to treat me, or see me as important to them. Humans die, like me. Of course we are all different individuals with different lives. But I decide to be an individual who will try my best to take whoever I know into importance whether or not they take me as an important person, or whether or not they are cool enough to be accepted by me. I may be a hypocrite at times because it's not easy to do this but if is going to give a bit of joy to someone then it's worth putting a bit of effort into. And eventhough people won't see me as of importance, I''ll still be myself and hope that I can be the little speck of blobby color in another person's life. Even if my presence won't make a difference and even if you can't remember what is my name or my favourite color(Btw, I like yellow) I'll still be a person that would try to make life a bit more colorful despite the muck I have. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll find a cleaner for the muck and mold. After all, Jesus is always there and he's the one and only person whom I know, that would always take me as an important being. :)
Cheers invisible people who reads this blog.
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