Through all my years of consciousness, I never have reflected much ...or to be more precise, I have never reflected through every single year of my life individually. Back then, my life was good, satisfying and I was happy enough. Therefore, when I feel happy I'm like whatever..I don't care. I'm happy now...so that's fine. This year I reflected back ..year 2009. For me, everything is this year was a drastic change. Literally, everything. My life, friends, family status, love life, school, lifestyle and whatever you could ever think of. Even physical appearance. Lol. :D
From being so down of not getting what I want, or more likely what I'm comfortable with... I have learnt so many things that I would not have learnt if I did stay in Malaysia. I'm not saying "OH, YEAH. I love Australia! It's great! and Awesome!Because it taught me so much", but more to...If I didn't go to Australia I wouldn't have learnt what life gives you sometimes. I wouldn't have been more conscious about the world and about people. And also, I wouldn't have learnt what I should improve in myself. And most, I wouldn't have learnt how to depend more on myself. For me, going to Australia really felt like God's plan. And although I didn't like it at the start it really paid off. The questions I would always ask God..."why am I here? Why is this. And why is that." decreased so much since I reflected back upon my 2009.
From being so down of not getting what I want, or more likely what I'm comfortable with... I have learnt so many things that I would not have learnt if I did stay in Malaysia. I'm not saying "OH, YEAH. I love Australia! It's great! and Awesome!Because it taught me so much", but more to...If I didn't go to Australia I wouldn't have learnt what life gives you sometimes. I wouldn't have been more conscious about the world and about people. And also, I wouldn't have learnt what I should improve in myself. And most, I wouldn't have learnt how to depend more on myself. For me, going to Australia really felt like God's plan. And although I didn't like it at the start it really paid off. The questions I would always ask God..."why am I here? Why is this. And why is that." decreased so much since I reflected back upon my 2009.
Right now..I can still say I have the desire to stay in Malaysia and have fun. Because I have kept that desire since I left..and honestly, I never loosened my grip until halfway through 2009. Yes, it has been holding me back from progressing in life but to loosen a bit of my grip.. it helped me get through life and also helped me move on , at the same time..lets me hold on. I do care for people in Malaysia. And for certain people..I feel really troubled to not be able to be there for them. I don't know if they need someone. Especially someone unworthy ..like me. But I don't blame my trip because without it, I wouldn't have given a thought about how he/she was feeling. And I wouldn't be more aware of how people also have problems in life. That life is not all about yourself. And I'm really thankful for year 2009. I am definitely looking forward to 2010. Eventhough some things have dissapointed me a bit. I guess that's just how life is.
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